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photo posts: food travel everything
Tracy is a lady of 29 from Manila who lives for photography, and takes photos for a living.
Tracy is also a graphic designer and educator.
Among Other Things is what she likes to refer to as her online real estate,
documenting some of the goings-on in her life. Among other things.
When was the last time I pulled an all-nighter to get shit done?
It’s 3:48 AM on my laptop, and I just finished kitchen clean up. I got home at around midnight from my usual post-school Nine Three hang out (to work some more, or attempt to, really), and spent maybe half an hour semi-procrastinating by prepping the kitchen and talking about coffee nerdshit with a friend over Messenger. I figured that I’d gain my momentum here at home rather than back at the cafe only to have to stop so I can go home after closing.
Anyway, after the above-mentioned procrastination and showering, I finally got to come back downstairs and make a few failed attempts at pulling one damn shot of espresso (the reason for which is for another post) before finally making a cappuccino for myself in preparation for the all-nighter I knew I was going to pull. Earlier in the day, I had declared I’d finish tonight all the reading of thesis papers of students for whom I’d be panelling. A few circumstances led me to finish surprisingly earlier than expected, so fuelled by my coffee, I decided to get a head start on reading revised papers of my own kids. But I’m starting to digress.
This must be what it’s like to make friends when you’re an adult.
Sometime into August, maybe around the second week, I found myself in a coffee shop I used to frequent but closed down at the beginning of this year. A month later, and I’m suddenly hanging out with a new group of friends almost every day. I have found people who match my clingy-ness.
And I find this surprising, because I’m an introvert. Or maybe I was. But this whole thing started because I decided I liked talking with people in the coffee industry/people who are into coffee. They are the nicest people, and these guys are no different. From knowing one person upon my return to the café, I now know at least a dozen new people. Several of them, I’m “secondary friends” with because they know my brother, or were my batch mates from Ateneo, or know other people I know. Who knew making friends would be as easy as stepping into a coffee shop, and saying yes to staying for an event, or joining a board game?
Or maybe there’s just something special about this place, this group of people I’ve stumbled upon. I watched a video maybe last week about how we’ve forgotten how to make friends as adults. I immediately thought of all the new people I’ve met, and how making friends really can be as simple as saying hello and starting a conversation.
I’m sitting here in my favorite classroom in Areté. It’s empty, and I’m trying to get away from the tundra that is our office. I sometimes forget this building is so damn cold. Anyway.
School starts next week, but since last week, I’ve been coming to school every day to work on preparations for the semester. Meetings with my new teams, as I’m teaching two new classes this semester, preps for thesis this coming school year, and other responsibilities I have in school that aren’t teaching-related.
I got an email just a few moments ago from one of our most respected colleagues in the department, thanking me for my help with one of his projects, and was asking for my assistance in another one. I’m of course happy to.
After responding to the email, I thought about how ever since this year started, I’ve corresponded with several people of significant power/influence in this department, probably even in the university. It blew my mind a little bit that I’m able to work with such amazing people, and I consider myself lucky to be able to do so. I’ve been teaching here for 5 years now, and I still find myself learning new things and I want to keep learning.
Ever since Smile came back from the US and now rejoining us in the department not just as a full-time member of the faculty but also as part of the ID thesis team, I’ve felt inspired again to look into graduate studies. I thought about it a couple of years ago, albeit rather shallowly, but I’m more determined that ever to actually push myself it pursue a Master’s degree. I mean, it makes sense, right? I’m in the academe. The inspiration was further bolstered by Missy’s recent promotion to assistant professor—she’s on her way to getting her PhD. The department is so full of amazing, intelligent, wonderful people that I feel like I should do more to earn and keep my place in it.
I’ll admit, when I was younger, I don’t think I saw myself here. I always thought I’d go the entrepreneurial or freelance route, or even find myself neck-deep in the creative industry. I sort of am, but it’s marbled with academics which I find I quite enjoy.
Now if only I could scrape together the funds I need to go get that degree.
It just needs to be said that I am surrounded by so much romantic love, and I don’t even mind that none of it is directed at me.
I took a step back to look at the friends that I’m choosing to surround myself with, and I’m just genuinely happy that so many of them are finding themselves with people whom they love and love them in return. I sometimes say that I’m living vicariously through them, and it’s half true. Seeing young relationships blossom truly gives me life. I feel that I’m a little too invested in some of them, but it’s all good. At least we know that I am not as cynical as people think I am.
Love is a beautiful thing especially when it’s coming from the most honest of places, when you let it swallow you like a rolling wave, without having to worry yourself about where it’s coming from or when it happens, and everything just clicks.
I take another step back and think about how it’s marvelous that even if it isn’t for me, life is working out wonderfully for the people I care an incredible amount.
Everyone experiences some gradation of these sorts of struggles and questions, and I think the more we can cradle our own demons and let them die in our arms, the more we can offer that care for other people.
— Ezra Miller for Vulture
I came downstairs to make coffee before heading off to school when I got a message from Ponci that classes were suspended. To be honest, I think it took me an hour to finally separate myself from my bed, to slowly crawl out from my very warm burrito of a comforter and get dressed. I was very torn between wanting classes to be suspended (because this weather, man, I want to stay in bed forever) and not be suspended because GOOD LORD it’s the last day for me with just final presentations for our AGD class.
But well, I guess it’s all well and good that I didn’t leave the house yet. I have more time to read papers, and sit here at home, dry, warm, and in the dark. I may have discovered the small pleasure of working on quiet rainy mornings downstairs in the dining room.
July 15, 2018 – 7:52 PM
I wonder if I’ll ever get the hang of blogging again. I’ve taken to once more writing in journals since February, and have gotten used to being more free with what I say. After all, those journals are just for me. Writing here, on the other hand, is a different matter. Though I have to admit, I do like throwing out there the things in my head from time to time.
I’m actually taking a break from reading research papers. I’m on my fourth one today, and hopefully I sneak in maybe at least half another paper before I go to sleep. Presentations are on Tuesday, and I have a busy morning tomorrow.
Anywho. I stumbled across a very interesting string of words this evening.
You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
It just occurred to me a couple of days ago that I’d be turning 30(!!!) in a little over 4 months.
I don’t think I’m afraid of it, but man do I wish I could be 26 for the rest of my life. But well, we can’t stay stuck in one place forever.
With my departure from my 20s coming closer and closer, I thought to note down significant time-based events in my life so far, if only to keep myself from spiralling into an existential hole of what-have-I-been-doing-with-my-life.